It was the 2012 legislative session in Florida and I had spent the day in Tallahassee advocating for behavioral health services. Each year the state of Florida hosts "Behavioral Health Day" at the capital and persons throughout the state are encouraged to attend and request increased funding for substance abuse and mental health services. Along with the CEO of the county behavioral health agency where I worked, fellow counselors and case managers, we woke early in the morning and headed to promote positive changes.
During the day we went into offices of senators, legislators, lobbyists and policy-makers. Although I did know one representative, the majority of the individuals we met that day were complete strangers. However, you would have never known that this was the first encounter I had with these persons of influence. The CEO of the behavioral health agency where I worked commented several times on how bold I was in meeting others and my confidence during interactions. She went as far as offering her name badge which carried her title for me to wear as I went on to meet more officials.
One such senator was not in his office when we visited and we were really anticipating discussing behavioral health issues with him. After a long and productive day, we decided to head home for the evening despite the missed opportunity to meet with this senator. We piled into the agency van and were well on our way, stopping only for visits to the restroom at rest areas. I remember the CEO remarking that she thought the person in the parking space next to us looked just like the very senator we were trying to make contact with during the day. He had exited his vehicle and was heading toward the restroom. I told her I would be right back and walked up beside him as he was getting a snack from the vending machine. To break the ice, I offered up my favorite snack choice and struck a conversation with him that allowed us to discuss behavioral health issues. As McKay, Davis and Fanning (2009) suggest, I began using active listening skills and developed the conversation through informational questions. (p. 222)
The CEO was astounded that I would just walk straight up to a senator I had never met and begin advocating over a candy bar. I started to think about my reason for having very little intrepidation during initial encounters with new individuals. Ever since I was a young child I remember enjoying meeting new people. My family and teachers would state that I was someone that would talk to trees if no one else were around and that I had never met a stranger.
Fast forward to the present day. I have maintained the same level of confidence throughout my life and whether I am having a one-on-one conversation or speaking to hundreds of people, my message and interactions are delivered with ease and poise. There is one drawback to being so comfortable in these situations. My actions can be viewed as intimidating, attention-seeking or over-confident. To try to create a balance when making initial contact, I attempt to read my audience and watch for body language that can give me cues of whether my actions are too open or if my disclosures are causing discomfort for those I meet. I then will try to emphasize those areas that I see are more comfortable for this new encounter to continue to develop. For example, if I am meeting someone that tends to be emotionally disconnected or socially withdrawn, as McKay et al (2009) suggests, I will try to read their body language and will then hone in on the areas that have elicited smiles, head nods or interpersonal connections. As I continue to build on these interactions, I slowly will develop the relationship at the pace of the new contact's comfort. This has proven to be successful and has allowed me to grow in my ability to meet and connect with others.
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The Communication Skills Book (Third Edition). New Harbinger Publications, Inc
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