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Affirmative Action

The term Affirmative Action often is associated with the Civil Rights Movement or admission into college based on race.  This is a misinterpretation of the current legislative policies surrounding "Affirmative Action."  According to the Department of Labor (2016), "For federal contractors and subcontractors, affirmative action must be taken by covered employers to recruit and advance qualified minorities, women, persons with disabilities, and covered veterans." (para. 1) The National Conference of State Legislatures (2014) defines Affirmative Action as " policies...in which an institution or organization actively engages in efforts to improve opportunities for historically excluded groups in American society" (para. 1).

Would people have such a negative view about Affirmative Action if they thought of veterans first? Why is race the main discussion point offered by many when debating Affirmative Action? LaFollette (2007) has an entire chapter devoted to the topic as it relates to ethics, even after spending an entire chapter on race. Within the text, every single page of the chapter on Affirmative Action speaks of "Blacks" as a group.  There is no focus on other qualified minorities, women, persons with disabilities or covered veterans.  If the mission of the LaFollette (2007) text is to speak solely of affirmative action and blacks, would a more appropriate title for the chapter been "Black Affirmative Action?" By focusing only on Blacks, there is a further segregation of the single race from other minority populations which have been harmed by the majority.  There is little to no mention of Native American populations, which have experienced generational harm from Anglo-Saxon Protestants for arguably an equal, if not greater, number of years.  Entire tribes of people were slaughtered, yet no mention in the text. Is this racial bias?

To provide a greater picture or understanding of Affirmative Action as it relates to ethics, it is important to discuss all groups that are covered under the legislation.  While the movement may have started during the Civil Rights era, where segregation was being conquered, it has evolved into something much greater, with a much larger impact on society in America.  Making the argument into a literal "Black and White" issue takes away from the advances achieved by the legislation for women, persons with disabilities and military veterans.

After reading the text and articles on the legislation, Affirmative Action legislation is continuing to provide opportunities for advancement among minority populations and those who otherwise may receive unequal treatment in the workplace (i.e. persons with disabilities or veterans).  Personally, I am thankful for the legislation.  LaFollette (2007) offers, "No legal regulation, no matter how valuable, is perfect" (p. 98).  There is still much to be achieved when it comes to balancing the provisions and expectations of Affirmative Action.  "A key question [about affirmative action] is the extent to which institutions should allow race and ethnicity to counterbalance the conventional measures. Of course, the same question must be raised about admission preferences granted to the children of donors or alums" (Minowitz, 2016, p. 149).

DOL. (2016). Affirmative Action. United States Department of Labor.  Retrieved from https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/hiring/affirmativeact

LaFollette, H. (2007). The Practice of Ethics. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.

Minowitz, P. (2016). Rescuing "diversity" from affirmative action and campus activists. Perspectives on Political Science, 45(3), 147-162. doi:10.1080/10457097.2016.1181894

NCSL. (2014). Affirmative Action: Overview.  National Conference of State Legislatures. Retrieved from http://www.ncsl.org/research/education/affirmative-action-overview.aspx.

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The Harder They Fall

Kramer (2003) sheds light into the psychological and behavioral processes that occur when individuals increase their prominence, power and prestige.  Through the study of successful and unsuccessful leader, Kramer identified a pattern.  Leaders that engaged in continuous reflective and critical thought were able to sustain power without experiencing a plummet from the top.  It is interesting to note the contradictory behaviors in which many make it to the top as compared to those that stay at the top.

When the fast-rising entrepreneur wants to make it to the top, Kramer (2003) explains there is often a "willingness to act quickly on those impulses- often before there is time for adequate reflection" (p. 61).  This is contrasted by the behavior of the leader who not only makes it to the top, but operates within their leadership role through stable practices.  These leaders engage in a practice of "Floating trial balloons [which] helps leaders uncover the truth and prepare for the unexpected- especially when mindful scrutinization of the business environment becomes a natural part of the leader's routine" (Kramer, 2003, p. 65).  

During the MSLD program, there have been numerous reflective exercises, course assignments and discussions about the importance of critical thought.  Are the leaders that make unwise, hasty or unethical choices simply not thinking things through?  Do they abandon the thought-processes taught to satisfy temporary desires?

This week a professor at ERAU was in the news for engaging in unethical behavior including sexual acts against minors.  While he may not be a high-ranking executive, he still holds a leadership role in his classroom and in the educational community.  This is happening in the same university where we are learning ethical standards.

The following statements are not intended to excuse any of the behaviors of the individuals engaging in unethical practice, but rather to create a reflective understanding so that I may avoid the same pitfalls.  In the reading of leadership anecdotes resulting in failure due to poor decision-making, I find there are similarities to LaFollette's idea of "situation sensitivity" (2007, p. 58). While the behaviors of leaders may not be deemed as ethical to the working-class culture, it may be viewed as appropriate risk-taking by those who share their standing on lists of top world leaders.  Would fellow leaders condone the actions offering colloquial statements like, "Sometimes you got to do what you go to do?" Would these individuals help to brush the dirt under the rug?  Do we see some of this behavior in our political world today?

To bring this to a more personal level, in the past year I have had the opportunity to become a locally recognized leader.  I have been invited to the prestigious foundation dinners, the award banquets, and have been sought after for participation on local boards.  News-media outlets have broadcast and published interviews.  Well-known celebrities have posed for pictures with my family.  At the end of the day, those newspaper articles will yellow and fade with time.  The celebrities will end up likely not being remembered 50 years from now.  The galas and dinners will be forgotten.  My family, however, will be the ones I hope to spend time with in 50 years.  That is who I focus on.

At a recent speaking engagement, an executive for a large company offered me the opportunity to work at their business in a leadership position.  I explained that though there is much work to be done and it would be an honor to help the community in such a way, it is imperative that I focus on my health first.  I explained that my eagerness to help the community has often resulted in me making self-sacrificing choices which adversely impact my health and my family.  While it would be a great career-building stepping stone, at this time it is less important to occupy a title and more important to sustain life.  She admittedly stated that if I were to be in the position that it would demand most, if not all of my time, energy and quality of life. Like Kramer (2003) suggested,  I floated a balloon out there in this conversation, and uncovered the truth. The role would likely pull me away from sustaining what I hold most dear in my core values, prioritizing family and health first.  While some may feel that self-sacrifice, loss of sleep and experiencing decreased health is a given when accepting such leadership positions, I find that extreme self-sacrificing behaviors are a violation of the "Golden Rule."  If you are to treat others how you want to be treated, you need to uphold quality treatment of yourself.  This means giving yourself the grace to choose a night at home with family over sitting at a community business dinner with prominent figures.  This means choosing health over wealth.  Those choices will provide a continued level of humility needed to keep you grounded as a leader.  They will allow you to look through the photo album, smiling brightly at the family photos and quickly glancing over the newspaper clippings.

Kramer, R. (2003). The Harder They Fall.  Harvard Business Review.  Retrieved from http://web.b.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=1&sid=22830cbb-df55-4976-9c6d-2360ce314a9d%40sessionmgr2

LaFollette, H. (2007). The Practice of Ethics. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.

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Consequentialism vs. Deontology

Is man inherently evil?  Do we have the capacity of creating subjective arguments without compromising the overall strength of our moral fortitude? These questions are at the heart of philosophical theories of consequentialism and deontology.

When aligning my personal beliefs with each theoretical foundation, I find myself leaning more toward a deontological worldview than that of a consequentialist. This is in part due to my personal realization that my ability to debate and rationalize behavior could be of significant consequence if left unchecked.  

When looking at consequentialism, it is difficult for me to understand how one could create a standard ethical code for practical use based on this theory.  For example, if the National Association of Social Workers were to revise their Code of Ethics through a consequentialist lens, they may state that a social worker is given the right to use lethal force if it is believed that children may be faced with an imminent threat of death.  Being in the social work field for many years, and staring down the barrel of a gun pointed at me while wearing my "Sally Sunshine" social worker badge and high heels, I understand how much evil is going on in the world around us.  I also understand that it is important not to repay evil with evil.

That leads me to a Deontological perspective.  Deontology is non-consequentialist in nature.  According to May (2014), "One way for a moral principle to be non-consequentialist is for it to treat the motivation behind an action, not merely its consequences, as intrinsically relevant"(p. 746). Motive matters just as much as the action itself.  Deontology attempts to create a rule-based, unerring method of ethical standards.  As prudish as it may sound, I tend to agree with Kant's notion that "people ought to be moral, period-no matter what their desires or interests or beliefs" (LaFollette, 2007, p. 34).  

The issue that remains, however, is how one can expect the same ethical and moral conduct across cultures and across significant bio-psycho-social factors.  An example would be the life of Phineas Gage, railroad worker and famous traumatic brain injury survivor. Prior to an unfortunate incident with a tamping iron that penetrated Gage's frontal lobe, the individual was seen as a moral and just man.  He acted civilly and behaved in a manner that would not cause harm to others.  After the unexpected tragedy, Gage turned into a significantly different man.  According to Gage's friends, "The balance between his intellectual faculties and animal propensities seemed gone" (Twomey, 2010). In instances such as this, would one be able to provide judgment for immoral and unjust behavior when it is the result of a physiological trauma impacting reasoning and sound mind?  To what extent does one afford compassion?  When do such disabling conditions warrant punishment?

I have yet to find a school of ethical thought or an ethical theory which can account for these unfortunate circumstances.  Morals, judgment and ethics within both consequentialism and deontology have an underlying notion that individuals are capable of operating with a sound mind. While Kant may argue we are all fundamentally evil, he has this claim as a foundational statement to uphold his imperatives: 

"Every rational being does exist as an end in himself, not merely as a means to be used by this or that will as it pleases. In all his actions, whether they are directed to himself or to other rational beings, a human being must always be viewed at the same times as an end" (LaFollette, 2007, p. 36).

Are those with medical conditions impairing judgment no longer rational beings? Are those under the use of substances not to be held to the same standard? What of those who have cognitive delays which impair executive functioning?  While ethics may try to create a standard code of moral conduct, how do you standardize a world that is becoming increasingly diverse? For now, both consequentialism and deontology fall short.

References

LaFollette, H. (2007). The practice of ethics. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.

• May, J. (2014). Moral judgment and deontology: Empirical developments: Moral judgment & rules.Philosophy Compass,9(11), 745-755. doi:10.1111/phc3.12172  

Twomey, S. (2010). Phineas Gage: Neurosciences Most Famous Patient. Smithsonian. Retrieved October 30, 2016 from http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/phineas-gage-neurosciences-most-famous-patient-11390067/#hegDoPxLfUkfATL9.99

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The Train Dilemma: When No Choice Is a Good One

My daughter is never, ever allowed to go near train tracks for the rest of her life after reading the train dilemma.  Now that we've established that and this is a purely hypothetical discussion, I would be extremely troubled throwing any of the switches and quite honestly, I do not believe I would throw the switches at all. 

Upon first reading through the scenarios of having five children on one track and one child on the next track, I thought about switching the train to the track with only one child.  I could not push an elderly man in front of the train to save the lives of the children as that would be an act of intentional murder.  I could ask the man if he would sacrifice himself if there were enough time, but likely that would not be possible.  If the lone child on the track was my own child, I could not bring myself to throw the switch. 

So in answer to the philosophical question: I probably would chose option D.  If an elderly man could stop a train by being thrown in front of it, then it would be logical that I too could stop a train by jumping in front of it.  Now comes the ethical dilemma of sacrifice or suicide? That is decided by the lens of the individual and the intent of the person.  If I were trying to jump in front of the train to escape life by taking my own, that would be suicide.  If I were to jump in front of the train to save the lives of others, that would be sacrifice.  This is similar to the officer that rushes into the line of fire.  In order to protect others, they willingly sacrifice their own life.  

Now let us turn the dilemma into a medical scenario.  I am a doctor.  I have a patient who just became infected with a deadly and highly contagious virus.  If he lives, he will be patient-zero of an unprecedented epidemic.  I do not have the option of quarantine as that will only infect more individuals in transporting the patient to quarantine.  Do I provide a lethal injection? Do I provide the patient with the medicine and allow the patient to administer their own lethal injection?  Do I deny any treatment and let the patient die inhumanely?  I believe I would explain the situation to the patient and allow the patient to make the decision for themselves.

In all of these scenarios, my choice revolves around a very difficult and rather unclear intermixing of personal convictions, humility, humanity and sacrifice for the greater good.  Socrates (n.d.) stated, "A system of morality based on relative emotional values is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception which has nothing sound in it and nothing true."  If you have sound ethics and sound morals, it should not matter if the situation is personal or non-personal.  Emotion should not alter the decision.  According to Fan and Yang (2012), their results from a similar trolley/train dilemma study demonstrated a significant difference in responses based on the personal and non-personal variations of the problem, denoting an emotional response to ethical problems.

Whether it be the five children, the one child, the elderly man or my own child, I would choose sacrificing my own life over doing any action or inaction to cause harm to any other life.  It is not that I do not value my own life.  It has everything to do with responsibility and putting the greater good above all else.  Probably not the answer you were looking for, but thankfully I am already aware that I don't have all the answers.

Socrates (n.d.) BrainyQuote: Socrates.  Retrieved October 23, 2016 from http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/socrates_2.html

Fan, Y., Yang, L. (2012). Ethics. International Journal of Psychology, 47, 356-365. 

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Heather,

Congratulations on making it to this point of your academic career.  You have not given up and you have great support through your family, professors, and friends.  You are nearing graduation and have a great future ahead of you.  In order to reach your goals you need to remain focused.  According to Goleman (2014), that requires you to engage in some delayed gratification and cognitive control.  So lets focus on some specific goals to reach your personal vision of becoming author, educator and resonant leader, Heather Taylor, Ph.D.

Goal #1- Complete Master of Science in Leadership degree program
Milestone 1- Completion of Required Coursework
Action Step- October: MSLD634 
Action Step- November: MSLD634
Milestone 2- Develop understanding of Public Policy
Action Step- January: MBAA648
Action Step- Implement coursework in practice during remainder of Ms. Wheelchair FL 2016 reign.
Milestone 3- Graduation
Action Step- Complete Capstone Course
Action Step- Apply for Graduation
Goal Accountability: Randall Taylor (Spouse) and Glenna Dollar (Sister-in-law)

Goal #2- Obtain Doctorate of Philosophy
Milestone 1- Determine field of study
Action Step- Research Graduate Programs
Action Step- Connect with Graduate Directors at Universities
Milestone 2- Apply for Admission at selected University
Action Step- Obtain Reference Letters
Action Step- Complete Application
Milestone 3- Complete Coursework and Graduate
Action Step- Maintain communication with Academic Advisor
Action Step- Pace coursework to allow for balance
Goal Accountability: Randall Taylor (Spouse) and Glenna Dollar (Sister-in-law)

Goal #3- Publish Book
Milestone 1- Create Outline of Book
Action Step- Determine Audience
Action Step- Brainstorm Chapters
Milestone 2- Write Book
Action Step- Create rough draft
Action Step- Create edited version
Milestone 3- Publish book
Action Step- Contact publishing companies
Action Step- Sign contract with publisher
Goal Accountability: Dayna Gonzales (Friend and avid reader)

While it may be tempting to move out of sequence or order with these steps, your ability to reach larger audiences would be enhanced with your doctorate.  Depending on the audience, your writings may be used in coursework to teach future generations.  In reaching these goals, maintain the larger vision that you want to reach as many people as possible with a message of hope and provide increased awareness of the need for social service improvement.  It may be best to start a journal as a chronicle of your experiences that can be used in your book.  Whether it be helping a Domestic Violence shelter, a Substance Abuse/Mental Health Clinic, making strides for Child Abuse Prevention or speaking out about Sexual Assault, your first hand experience is crucial in helping others understand the importance of your message.  You have a powerful story and it needs to be shared.  In the process of getting your Ph.D. you will have many opportunities to publish in major journals.  Learn from those experiences and develop your writing skills.  Remember to pace yourself and maintain that balance.  Remember to not be self-sacrificing but to put your health first, practicing mindfulness and creating an internal sense of peace to allow you to maintain focus.  Together we will achieve your dreams!

Boyatzis, R., McKee, A. (2005). Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others through Mindfulness, Hope and Compassion. Boston: MA. Harvard Business Review Press. 

Goleman, D. (2014). What Predicts Success?  It's Not Your IQ. Daniel Goleman.  Retrieved October 9, 2016 from http://www.danielgoleman.info/daniel-goleman-what-predicts-success-its-not-your-iq/

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No one is perfect, including me.  As I have grown, I have come to realize that my greatest strengths are also indications of my greatest weaknesses.  As the balance tips to one side, it loses the weight on the opposite end of the spectrum.  For example, a distinct strength that people often find in performance reviews and coaching sessions is my ability to overcome obstacles, maintain focus and the tenacity/determination displayed during a project task.  

However, this also means that I have a weakness of being ultra-focused at times, needing to become reclusive and shut out others from the world around me.  A real life instance this week was in trying to regain my health.  In order to do this, I needed to solely focus on the basic functions of my body and not add anything to the mix for the majority of the week.  

My doctor was concerned about my blood work and she said that she wanted me to start a new routine, referring to a nutritionist and then ordering a whole new set of tests.  She wanted me to make sure the second I began feeling thirsty, that I made sure to drink many fluids.  The first indication of needing to use the restroom was not to be ignored.  She wanted me to make sure I put no extra stress on my body.  If my heart started to have palpitations or if I felt I was moving into a tachycardic state, she wanted me to be completely still and try to regulate my breathing.  After several days of what appeared to be me doing nothing on the exterior (i.e. letting laundry pile up, dishes left in sink, etc.), I began to notice some improvement in my health.  The issue is I need to retrain my psyche to allow myself to not achieve a task immediately.  If I am trying to do the dishes and I get as far as washing one fork when I get an urge to go to the restroom or need to lay down, I must stop and come back to it later.  That is a huge difference in my personal balance routines of the past.  

Much like an Obsessive-Compulsive eater that only eats one item on their plate at a time, hyper-focusing on that food and then moving on to the next, I have been able to multi-task, with most successful task completion happening in the wee-hours in the morning when there are no other distractions and I have the ability to knock out the items on my to-do list.  Now I know that whether it is 2am or 2pm, and whether it means that I may not meet deadlines, I must not put the added stress on my body and must prioritize my physical needs first.

When completing the exercise in the McKee, Boyatzis & Johnson (2008) text, I arrived at the following responses to the personal balance form questions:

• Distinct Strengths:Optimistic outlook, tenacity, good communicative ability, servant leadership style
• Potential Strengths: Deepening relationships with others.  I spend very little time growing in my relationships with others or investing in those relationships outside of family.  These are so important and I should begin making time to invest in others.
• Enduring Dispositions: Smile often, desire to "never give up", pray often, light-hearted
• Liabilities: Inability to "throttle back" at times and re-center, neglecting self for purpose of achievement
• Weaknesses I want to change: I want to begin spending more time investing in my health and my relationships with others, understanding that this foundation will help me grow in my future successes
• Enduring Dispositions that Get in the Way: A behavior I would like to change is my limited eye contact when I speak with others.  Due to difficulty with cognition, I often have to either close my eyes or look into space to retrieve the words when vocalizing speech. However, this is not conducive to proper interpersonal communication and I need to begin practicing maintaining eye contact while speaking, training my brain to recall words during eye-contact.

According to Bergland (2014), "Looking someone directly in the eyes during a conversation is the key to making any social, professional, or romantic connection.  We rely on eye contact to communicate and connect with one another on a conscious and unconscious level."  While I am a wonderful listener and will maintain eye-contact during receptive communication, I need to understand and prioritize the importance of making this weakness into a strength through a balanced approach.  Goman (2014) asserts that eye contact is much like the Goldilocks and the three bears.  You need to find just the right method and delivery of affixing your gaze in order to ensure the other individual is comfortable and not feeling stared down or dismissed.  I will likely practice on my ever-willing husband and together we will likely improve our shared communication skills in the process.  I love how our courses have been helping our relationship grow and then how our improved relationship helps us become more successful in our interactions with others.  

Bergland, C. (2014). The Neuroscience of Making Eye Contact.  Psychology Today. Retrieved October 2, 2016 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201403/the-neuroscience-making-eye-contact

Goman, C. (2014). Fascinating Facts About Eye Contact. Forbes. Retrieved October 2, 2016 from http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2014/08/21/facinating-facts-about-eye-contact/#5d3fb060518b

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: Develop your     emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Boston, MA:      Harvard Business School Pub.

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This week has been a character building experience.  It is one in which I remember looking up at the sky asking God if it was going to be my time to go soon and feeling like the answer was "Yes."  My body is not doing well and I can tell it is getting to that point where some hard life choices are going to have to be made to try to preserve the highest quality of life possible during the time that I do have. My heart is uncontrollable and doctors are trying to figure out what to do.  Meanwhile, I will continue to do my best to not give up and keep moving forward.

As I reflected on the life I am living and have lived, it has been a great life.  It has been a long life, especially since it was intended to end when I was six.  As I reflected on the lifeline I created, it was very much like the heart monitor that we watched for hours on Thursday evening.  There were many high peaks and abnormalities.  Most people do not lose their parents until much later in life.  By learning to live independently in my young childhood, it allowed me to gain many skills of independence that assisted me when my family dropped me off on the side of the road at UF's campus and handed me a folder with all of my important life information.  My social security card, a debit card (which I had never had before) and my birth certificate.  They were down the road and I heard them shout out the window, "Oh and Happy Birthday."  That still sticks with me and teaches me the importance of providing love and compassion.  As strong as I was then, my relationship with my family is still very much severed.  They were not there for the birth of my daughter and they have yet to come visit me or help me since being in a wheelchair.  That is hard.  It is also character building.

As I look at my social relationships and roles, I see the importance of putting family first.  When I was younger, I cared more about my social standing.  Was I a "good enough" person?  Was I giving back to the community?  Was I the best at my job? Was I getting the promotions I needed to climb that ladder to success?

Today, I ask myself, was I a mom?  Was I a wife?  Not was I a good wife or a good mom.  Just was I alive and able to fill that role.  If the answer is yes, then I give myself the grace for making it through the day and pray for another opportunity.  Each day I am learning how important it is not to care about being the best but just being and helping others in the process.

That is very different from the patterns prior to my becoming a person within the disabled community.  Those peaks of rapid succession were something that I used to pride myself on.  Now I realize that while they did provide me opportunities and successes, I missed out a lot on developing life-long relationships. I was driven to succeed and did not previously care as much about my role as a wife.  My first husband pales in comparison to the amazing man I have today, but I also did not show him anywhere near the type of love I show Randall.  I believe I grew and learned from that experience with divorce and hope to show Randall every single day that I am thankful to be his wife.  

In the letter I wrote to Randall in the exercises, I often thanked him for what he has sacrificed and what he has done to keep our relationship alive.  He was the one who flew me all the way up to New Hampshire to take a job which would put me over a thousand miles away from him and he was willing to support me and love me through that.  He was the only one there when Grace was born.  He was the only one there when I found out I had Dysautonomia.  Honestly, he is my best friend and my closest connection within my social world.

When it came to reflecting on strengths, I listed Dedication, Loyalty, Optimism, Christ-centered, Humble, Fast Learner, Coach-able, Communicator, Faithful, Visionary.   Many years ago those strengths would have been very different.  They would have listed "hard worker."  I am now realizing that it isn't so much how many hours you put in or how vigorously you work, but how deeply you impact others in the work you do.  For example, Randall helped me make it to the National Day of Remembrance event where I was a keynote speaker.  During my shortened speech due to health concerns, I knew I couldn't provide the message I wanted to deliver.  I had to put that energy into making my message concise and powerful.  After delivery, two survivors of the recent PULSE massacre came up to me and gave me a hug and said that the message touched them in a way to give them hope to keep going.  How powerful.  These two women had witnessed a terror I hope to never experience.  Yet, the few words I could speak provided them hope.  

Boyatzis and McKee (2005) have this to say of hope. "That magical and life-giving quality called hope is more than just optimism...and it all starts with you." (p. 204)  When I was younger, I was uncertain about the impact we could have on others around us.  I am now aware that we all play a critical role in each other's lives and the more that we own that responsibility the greater power we have in providing a positive influence of hope in this world.

Now, the next 36 hours after the delivery of that speech have been spent in bed recovering.  In retrospect I believe it was worth it.  Some would think, including the younger me, that sharing that short speech was far from hard work, but my heart and body would argue that point. That is why today I prefer to speak to the strengths that allow me to get out of bed each day.  Those are the ones that I want to continue to develop as I will need that strength for tomorrow.

McKee, Boyatzis and Johnson (2008) discuss understanding the gaps between the real self and the ideal self.  Understanding the importance of mindfulness and self-awareness.  I believe my biggest gap is still not realizing when I am overdoing it.  My body is trying to send a clear message and I am not receiving it well.  I believe I am still somewhat in denial.  I need to be more mindful of how important my health is and stop pushing myself too much.  Perhaps I need to spend more time thinking about how important it is to be here for Grace as she grows and feel less guilt about making deadlines or engagements.  For now, it is time to sleep, rest and renew.  Good night.

Boyatzis, R., McKee, A.(2005). Resonant Leadership. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Pub.

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: Develop your     emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Boston, MA:Harvard Business School Pub.