Sunday, August 30, 2015

A500.2.3.RB_TAYLORHEATHER

As a child, my standards were simple.  Do what does not get you hurt.  I complied with whatever was told by authority figures to ensure survival and to make sure I could continue day to day life as I knew it. 
This worked for me during my early childhood development.  However, when I became the adult making the decisions being compliant did not always work in my favor.  That compliant behavior resulted in getting into a situation for which I wish I never had been involved.  While no meant no, the forcefulness for which I said the word did not come across to the level it needed to and I then was a compliant victim of rape.  Yes, I survived, but I wonder if my current assertive behavior could have prevented this from happening.  While I do not believe in blaming the victim, I also know that after years of counseling I am at a much more empowered place and finally have real standards.  My standards.  Standards that allow me to be me- whoever that is.
I remember growing up someone said, if you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.  I wonder if that is where the word standard originated.  The etymology of the word is not as important as the realization that standards allow me to have a firm resolve when approaching life experiences.  That being said, these standards on constantly evolving and changing, developing and redeveloping daily. 
The standards that do align with the behavioral expectations of my youth include the following:  Determination; Respect; Humility; Responsibility; Nonmaleficence; Beneficence. It was not until late adolescence that I began building on these six standards.
Determination.  I was taught that if I was requested to do something, I needed to do it the right way the first time and to put all of my effort into the task.  I was not to finish the task until it was complete and could pass a “white-glove” inspection.  I had to remain determined throughout the process and not grow lazy or disinterested.  No excuses.
Respect.  Even if the respect was not earned, it was commanded.  This is a standard that was instilled in me through dogmatic- “Yes sir,” “No sir,” “Yes ma’am,” “No ma’am,” and “I’m sorry” responses that were required.  If there was ever a question as to why a task or assignment was given, there was only one response- “I said so.”  Authority equaled respect.  No questions asked. 
Humility.  We shopped at Goodwill.  We then used our Goodwill clothes as hand-me-downs.  We ate expired food donated by the local deli.  We drove vehicles that were over 10 years old.  We did not have the latest and greatest.  We had what we needed and we were to be grateful for everything we had.  This was not because we did not have money.  I later found out there was plenty stored up for a rainy day.  The idea was that we were to never let ourselves be anything more than humble, with a constant reminder that all of it can be taken in an instant.
Nonmaleficence.  This standard was mainly taught by teachers.  It was not consistently taught by my family. In fact, I remember that when my sister bit me, I was encouraged to bite her back to the point of receiving memorable punishment for not biting her.  However, my teachers were unified in their thinking.  There was always the understanding that regardless of the circumstance it is necessary to decide on an action which results in no harm or the least amount of harm to those impacted by the decision.  Even as a little one, I knew that if I were to bring in cupcakes for the class, I needed to make sure I brought in exactly enough cupcakes for everyone in the class to ensure no child would be left out.  No child would experience the emotional pain of not receiving the highly anticipated birthday cupcake.
Beneficence.  In addition to not doing harm to others, it was required that I do everything in my power to make life better for those around me.  Even if it meant sacrificing the quality of life I lived on a daily basis.  This was demanded by family, but also taught by civic organizations such as Girl Scouts and Opti-miss club.
Responsibility.  This standard is one that was taught from a very early age.  Initially, it resounded as, “It is your fault,” including the death of my parents as told by my grandmother.  Yet, as I aged, I was able to come to a more realistic understanding of responsibility.  Responsibility morphed into the control that I was able to exert over the world.  I needed that level of control as a child.  As an adult, responsibility became less about control and more about duty.  Responsibility was the role that I played in the world around me, good or bad- it was my part and I needed to own up for everything I did or did not do.
As I moved into adolescence and adulthood, the following standards became central to my thought processes:  Diligence; Honesty; Assertiveness; Transparency.  These four standards were built on the previous standards, moving from the simplistic following of the standards out of obedience, to the need for utilization of the standards in approaching decisions of adulthood.
Diligence.  As a child, I was told not to be lazy and was encouraged to keep a level of determination about me to succeed.  By adulthood, I had developed diligence.  Diligence has more to do with a steadfast work ethic than mere determination, while determination is the driving force to allow continued perseverance when the task gets to be cumbersome and daunting.  Today, I find myself battling with feelings of annoyance when others in the workplace do not hold the same standard.  Faulty logic, I know. 
Honesty.  This standard is one that I have an internal expectation to be followed at all times, with an understanding that I will never be able to achieve 100% honesty.  I will have omissions of truth.  I will have times where I misrepresent the truth.  However, I will continue to strive for honesty and understand the impact of dishonesty far outweighs the short-term disguised benefit of bending the truth.
Assertiveness.  This standard was a difficult one to attain, but it was worth the struggle.  It actually resulted in the loss of a job as I was not willing to bend my standards and continued persevering for equality despite the engrained cultural practices of the workplace.  My assertiveness has allowed me to ensure other standards are not compromised.
Transparency.  Without the previously listed standards, transparency would be difficult to achieve.  It is rare that someone wants to display laziness, lack of motivation, timidity, disrespectful behavior, arrogance, irresponsible decision making, manipulative tendencies and hurtful/selfish actions.  By having diligence, determination, assertiveness, respect, humility, responsibility, honesty, nonmaleficence and beneficence as standards, it is with comfort that transparency can be at least a standard I strive for if I am not always able to achieve it.  In my mind, without transparency there can be no opportunity for accountability and without accountability, what use would there be for having standards?
All of these standards help make me who I am today.  They help me form decisions.  They help guide me in every aspect of my life.  They will continue to grow with me as I continue to age and, hopefully, mature.  Without these standards, I fear I would fall into a pattern of blind compliance to the standards of others.  With adherence to these standards, I will be responsible for the impact they have on my life.  Positive or negative.  That is what drives the daily evaluation and re-evaluation of their usefulness and the degree to which I utilize these standards.  Only time will tell how these standards will impact not only my career and life goals but the lives that have been entrusted to me in my very own family.  That being said, those these standards may be non-critical-thinking standards,  “without critical thinking standards incorporated into them, they can be demeaning, misplaced, hollow and dangerous.” (Nosich, 2012).  It is with a hope for a balanced mind contemplating critical and non-critical standards that I must approach each decision to provide my future family the greatest hope for a life without the pain suffered from my past.


Nosich, G. M. (2012). Learning to think things through: A guide to critical thinking across the curriculum (4th edition). Boston, MA: Pearson. p. 154.

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